(16-minute read)

These days, I’m spending a lot of time in silent aloneness, writing. It’s part of my personal healing journey.

In response to the murder of George Floyd, I was approached by some white friends who asked me in various ways to step up and fight for racial justice. They want to know what my plans are.

I thought this was an interesting ask.

Some black friends have noticed my silence. “Your silence is deafening.”

And now white people have muted themselves.

What is expected of me? Should I join the “heal white racism” groups that black people aren’t allowed to join? Should I say things like: “White people must admit they’re racist,” “Justice needs to be served,” and “Prayers are not enough?” Should I mute myself?

What I’m hearing feels like gaslighting and word salad.

Or, maybe I get a free pass because I have felt the stinging oppressive slap of the pendulum swinging in the other direction.

Have I paid enough for my perceived sins? Or do you require more of me?

I have not had a personal boundaries conversation with anyone about requirements since the news hit the media. Therefore, I feel the weight of varying expectations.

Setting expectations is a form of control that creates separation. Do you know what happens to spouses who set expectations instead of boundaries? They get divorced.

Still, my defense mechanism requires me to strive for perfection so that others accept me. And I acknowledge my imperfection in this regard, without judgment.

I’ve reflected, and my plans have not changed.

I asked myself if I could remain anchored in my purpose and take a different approach to support the collective and be accepted by my peers while still remaining in service to my purpose. We all need connection.

I decided that acceptance means less to me than purpose — it is crucial for life to know itself through every living being, including me.

I will not be shamed into shaming others, nor myself. I will not separate from any aspect of humanity.

Because you are me, and I am you.

Early in the year, I wrote a blog post that describes how in 2020 our broken societal systems will begin to crumble so we can rebuild. I blasted on social media that we are experiencing a Collective Systems Failure. I’ve shared my thoughts on how stepping into purpose serves others in ways that can change the world.

Did you hear me?

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ”
— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

African Americans are brutalized daily in every corner of our country. We could rightly feel entitled to be pissed off literally every single day, but we choose to save our pissed-offness for when the media incites us.

I’ve read the various cries for understanding: “Racism is not what you think.” “Don’t say you don’t see color.”

I’ve been asked my entire life, “What are you?” I answer with another question: “Existentially?”

What is the color of my physical body? Is it light brown or is it olive? Is it close enough to fit within a particular suitable category? How about my hair? Is it too curly or too straight?

How does my physical body dictate what I’m allowed to say, and to whom?

Here’s a question for socially-identified white parents: Have you had the conversation with your children about how to stay alive and safe in the face of authority?

I wish I had known to have that conversation.

There is no room in the philosophy I hold dear for labeling, shaming or blaming. That is a primal function of the current societal systems we exist in now – which do not create connection.

I’ve already chosen my mission.

My purpose is to do my part in anchoring the consciousness of Oneness by supporting the messages of teachers like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mahatma Gandhi. Their power exists with the recognition of the concept of Oneness, which includes causing no harm.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

— Mahatma Gandhi

‘Being the change’ may mean something different to me than to you. I represent merely one of 7.5 billion human perspectives. I do not know your pain and you do not know mine, yet they are the same. They are based in separation, which is the root cause of all pain.

Sharing the message of Oneness from my own perspective is how I live out my purpose and stay in my personal power. I have no interest in control. I cannot save my compassion for when the media prompts me.

Serving as an example of lovingkindness with every interaction and energetic exchange – with every person, regardless of what they have done and regardless of what category they are put in, or put themselves in — this is my chosen path.

Hurt people hurt people.

Are you willing to be inclusive with your compassion? For the children who have been kidnapped by the justice system and plopped into prison beds? Maybe it feels too overwhelming, or you think, “They must have done something wrong.”

What about the family member who has no idea they just made a racial slur, the person shaming others on social media platforms, the child living in the projects who feels forced into gang initiation by committing murder, the drug dealer selling heroin so they can support their family, the young man who injects a drug into his friend’s body and watches him die because he’s too afraid to dial 911, people in positions of authority who commit murder because of their own self-hatred, and those who set cities on fire because they feel invisible?

“Hear me. See me. Understand me.”

Blaming others is shaming others, and shame is a killer — it only serves as an effort to control while racing for the (uncomfortably comfortable) victim’s seat. There is no power in that.

Power only exists in love.

This message cannot be supported by our current systems — because it reveals to us that we are powerful beyond measure. This fact poses a danger to the societal structures we exist in today.

Power looks like: a mother who adopted her son’s killer, a man who stepped into his shared purpose by partnering with the man who tried to kill him, a problem child who received recognition of her powerful leadership abilities, a codependent woman who forgave the narcissist who nearly destroyed her – the list goes on.

“Every person has a very good reason for the bad things they do.”

— Sylvia Clute

Outside of my family, I have only once felt completely seen, heard and understood regarding my son’s life circumstances and his death. This moment was created by four black men, two of whom spent half their lives in the prison system. I shared with them my wounds around my son’s death, and how his experience became muted by white and black alike because he was white identified.

One of those men reflected my pain back to me in a way that no one ever had. In that moment, I felt seen. He saw me. He saw Trey. I wept.

Our shared humanity was recognized in that moment.

Once we recognize another person’s humanity, we love them, naturally. And they love us back. In that moment, the stories fade and what is left is our connection.

If you knew how powerful you are, you would not waste your precious time blaming and shaming. You would shine your light and set the example by refusing to participate in systems that cannot be fixed.

Some will see you, and some won’t.

Those who cannot see you are not ‘bad people.’ They are merely living out the unique life experience they chose in service to creator, so that life can know itself.

There is no good or bad in universal consciousness. This is what we are working toward discovering in this dimension so we can disintegrate the belief of separateness and dismantle the systems that separate us.

Our identification, including the color of our physical bodies, is part of the identity of our human experience. We are more than what we experience on the physical plane – and bigger than our personal and professional identities – all the things that we think make up who we are. The truth behind these facades is the forever connection of Oneness.

 We are forever connected. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you.

What are you capable of?

Can you answer this question honestly? No one commits heinous acts unless they have experienced heinous acts committed against them. Instead of pushing for punishment and calling it justice, we could begin the practice of justice as love by asking those suffering in our community, “What have we done to fail you?”

If you were asked this question, how would you answer?

If you asked someone else this question, what would you do with the answer?

By not asking these questions, we are missing the opportunity for connection.

The path of the Golden Rule would have you consider how you would prefer to be treated and then treat others the same. If you acted against society’s values, would you choose for yourself separation, punishment and shame over compassion and connection? No. None of us would choose that.

From my perspective, this is not a fight against a segment of humanity. It’s an opportunity to leave behind the societal structures that exist in every democratized country which were established for the purpose of control.

Control is different than power.

Separation creates control. Connection creates power.

Until we stop participating in current social systems, we will perpetuate more of the same of what we fight against.

Separation looks like blame, shame, punishment, me-versus-you, rules over values and an eye-for-an-eye.

Connection is Love’s truth — it looks like recognizing yourself in another, remaining curious, listening actively, having compassion for yourself and others and being open to what you don’t know you don’t know.

It’s not something we need to learn, it’s something we need to remember.

Do you remember?

It wasn’t that long ago that humanity began to come together on a global scale, as we felt each other’s suffering regarding this pandemic. It didn’t take long for corporate-owned media to split us apart again.

Are you a good American who wears a mask? Are you a good white person who acknowledges you’re a racist? Are you angry about the death of a man who was brutally murdered? Do you consider the countless murders of people whose names you will never know? Does your attention shift with media plugs and sound bytes?

There are so many questions.

Can you question everything? For just a moment?

If so, I have a question for you: Who told you that you were naked?

You may judge me, but it’s difficult to talk about color (unless we’re talking about chakra colors that represent the harmonics of creation) after experiencing connection with beings that dropped the human body and show themselves as light.

If you judge me, remember that you have not experienced my reality. Just as I have not experienced yours. Yet, we are of the same consciousness and will never be separate, no matter how hard you try to separate from me.

We are beings of light.

The human body exists within the soul, which is connected to spirit, as souls are too grand to fit inside of a body.

“You are not the body; you are not even the mind.”

— Sadhguru

We are much more powerful than what we know ourselves to be. We are loved by our universal creator more than we can comprehend.

Before we arrived here, we shopped the cosmic grocery store, filling our baskets with life situations that we wanted to experience so we can step into our purpose for this lifetime — so that life can know itself. We are serving our creator in this way. Understanding this empowers us in ways that our narrow philosophies based in separation cannot.

Once you understand this, your power cannot be stripped away by any person, ideology or societal system.

No one can control you.

Accepting yourself as a flawed person is an unnatural ideology that has been used for centuries to establish control of the masses. This is how shame perpetuates control. The eye-for-an-eye mentality was created by religious politics and is the foundation for our justice system and all the societal structures we know today.

It created the belief system that we blindly support — the one that says we must make others pay for breaking the rules created by people who do not have to follow them.

The only thing we have to do is drop the body. You don’t even have to pay taxes. My father never did.

You are an integral part of source consciousness.

And that consciousness gave you free will. Source would not give you free will and then punish you for using it. That’s what karma is for. And karma does not mean revenge – It means learning.

The pain associated with the poor choices of humanity reflects one truth: how our societal structures have failed us. When we recognize this, we can begin our collective healing journey toward Oneness. Then we can recognize our personal and collective power and create something different.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Please don’t ask me to fight for justice.

Not in the way that we do it now. I will never do that. I do not wish harm on anyone. Nor will I rely on systems that were created to “fix” our “broken” system. It only exacerbates the problem.

I would like to start a conversation about how we can step into our own personal power and become a beacon of light for the mission of spreading concepts of lovingkindness and connection, together. Not in spite of our differences, but in celebration of them.

Let’s build a new system based on the power of love and connection. So we can say goodbye to the current systems built on the shaky foundations of shame, control and separation.


Peace, love and light,

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