Manifest Like a Goddess, Module 16
GOALS FOR THIS MODULE:
Understand the concept of detachment and how the West got it wrong.
Learn why conflict exists.
Remove the stories that surround conflict and find the emotions attached to it.
Tap into your higher self to assist you in creating the space to resolve external conflict.
Practice holding the awareness of non-attachment.
Detachment has become a very misunderstood concept in the West. It is widely believed that in order to practice detachment we need to separate ourselves from whatever is causing us pain.
We’ve been taught that detachment means to abandon how we feel about certain situations and close ourselves off to others and our emotions in order to achieve peace. This could not be further from the truth.
This is the definition of detachment that belongs to the walking wounded. It is used as a tool to disconnect from life and therefore from source consciousness. It locks those who practice it inside a prison of avoidance. I call this the New Cage movement. This is not the practice of true detachment.
The definition of detachment that the Buddha taught has nothing to do with disconnection. In the East, the concept of Oneness is valued much higher over that of the separate individual. The separate individual moves away from connection because of the belief that something ‘out there’ is causing the pain.
When we understand that we are one with everything, we don’t create further separation. Instead, we lean in and create a deeper connection with the pain. You do this by sitting with the awareness of the pain in non-judgment – and not what has caused the pain. Oftentimes, the stories we create around our pain are untrue.
Attaching a story to the pain gives the ego full control and throws us into victimhood. To remove the ego, you must remove the story so you can get straight to the heart of what is truly happening within you.
How to Detach from Outer Conflict
The way to detach when you are feeling pain around a situation that includes another person is to recognize the concept of Oneness – to see them as you. In this situation, you would lean into the conflict so you can understand both aspects of it – yours and theirs.
What if you detached from the story around who is right and wrong? What if you took on the idea that you were looking at an external reflection of yourself instead of a separation with the person you are in conflict with?
This is what the Buddha meant – to be able to hold the awareness of non-attachment to any extreme.
If the person you’re in conflict with were you, what would you need in that situation?
Conflict is a gift
Conflict is an event that occurs to alert one or more parties that a wound is present that is ready to be healed. Our societal systems have taught us to resolve conflicts by avoidance, punishment or implementing more rules. These tactics perpetuate separation and offer Band-Aid solutions to problems that never get down to the true reason for the conflict.
When you focus more on the way the conflict is making you feel and less on the story, you begin to notice that the event is irrelevant to the cause. You begin to see it as the siren alerting you to the real issue. That issue is always a wound surfacing, and was usually created years before the conflict occurred.
Only when you identify the wound, can progress be made. We are all responsible for healing the wounds we carry. If the wound is ignored, more seemingly unrelated conflicts will arise in an attempt to alert you. It’s saying, “Hey! I found a wound that’s ready to be healed!” You must heal the wound or else stay stuck in the same conflict pattern.
Focusing on the conflict alone will not solve the underlying problem because it only creates more separation. Focusing on the underlying wound within yourself creates understanding of yourself and others involved, and that is when you begin moving toward Oneness.
Give some thought to any outer conflict you may have that you still have energy around. This would be an external conflict you’re having with another person. Write down the conflict as a non-judgmental event that the person you’re in conflict with would agree happened.
Now write the details:
How long has this conflict been going on?
What are the ways you or others have attempted to resolve it?
How does this conflict make you feel?
Click below to access the Outer Conflict Meditation. You will need earbuds in order to get the desired effect. Give yourself ample time to listen all the way through and then journal your experiences.
Congratulations on finishing Module 16. Give yourself two weeks for self-discovery based on what you’ve learned. Then, continue on to Module 17.
To purchase the guided meditation from this module and other meditations, click the button below.