How Purpose Impacts Relationship

Recently, I’ve been approached by men who want to learn more about receiving purpose coaching. They usually begin their inquiry by asking me why I limit myself to working with only women.

My answer: “Well, first of all, I am a woman, and secondly, it is mostly women who seem to be energetically attracted to working with me. But I am not limited to coaching only women.”

I have coached men – primarily those who have already claimed their purpose and are looking for ways to move further into their potential by integrating the feminine essence necessary for creation.

I’m thrilled that this work is beginning to attract the masculine in search of their purpose. They tell me they not only want to get clear on their purpose and their path forward, but also want to figure out how to maintain a healthy balance between their purpose and their relationship with their feminine counterparts.

It can feel overwhelming to juggle it all – actualizing a purposeful life, earning money, creating a loving relationship, raising children, maintaining a household and everything that goes with it. It’s not just women who are overwhelmed.

The biggest concern I hear from men is the lack of passion in their intimate relationships. I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of men (or people who primarily lead with masculine energy) have no idea how their life choices impact the masculine-feminine dynamic.

I can only speak on this topic from the feminine perspective, which is based on my own experiences and what I’ve learned from them.


In the beginning …

My dad often asked me to explain the unexplainable.

“Sara, tell me about women’s knowledge.”

My reply: “How do you describe the mysterious depths of the ocean?”

I was not old enough to answer the question to his satisfaction, and it irritated him to no end.

Today my answer to him would have been, “It’s not necessary to completely understand the feminine essence in order to nurture it and benefit from it.”

And I would have left it there.

The feminine essence is a magical mystery. It cannot be fully described, because it is the energy of creation. The totality of the universe cannot be understood in words.

We need both masculine and feminine energies to create

Before we get into relationship dynamics, all relationships include one partner who leads with the feminine and one partner who leads with the masculine. For an intimate, romantic relationship to exist, both energies must be present or there is no relationship.

Like the ocean, the feminine essence represents beauty, mystery and magic. And at times, we are unpredictable and volatile. We have a natural ability to work with the darkness – the mysterious energy of what cannot be seen.

In the darkness there is nothing, yet out of the darkness came everything.

The healthy masculine aspect is about doing and taking action in the world. They are logical, goal-oriented, proactive, protective, assertive and externally focused.

Both are crucial for creation. If one is absent, there is an imbalance. That’s why we all desire partnership so strongly. It is in partnership that we learn how to integrate these parts within ourselves.

The masculine who believes he doesn’t need his feminine counterpart to achieve happiness and contentment is doing nothing more than fooling himself. The same goes for the feminine.


Super power potential

The divine masculine-feminine union has the potential to create one powerful superbeing, an unstoppable force, when authenticity and purpose are leading.

The masculine partner who does not embrace his purpose cannot show up fully in his authenticity. Therefore, he is unable to be fully present with his feminine partner. And the mystical dance of merging and creation cannot happen.

Her response to this is wild emotion that eventually transforms into complete indifference.


What the feminine needs

With his inability to navigate her depths, he will eventually become a witness to the drying up of the magnificent oceanic beauty within her.

The feminine counterpart will fight for his presence. If she fights to no avail, she will eventually begin to lose interest in all aspects of life, until she decides to completely check out or leave the relationship altogether. She does this so that she can begin to show up for herself.

In partnership, the feminine needs her masculine partner’s full presence in order for her to create and share her beauty and love with the world.

The fully present masculine creates safety in the union. If the feminine doesn’t feel safe, she will check out of the partnership in order to give herself what she needs to flourish.

She will replace her man with her own masculine energy. He then becomes unnecessary and irrelevant to her. This is a painful experience for both people.

For the feminine, safety within a relationship is created by a masculine partner who shows her he has decided with 100 percent certainty that he chooses her. He does this by showing up in his full presence and integrity.


What the feminine offers

The feminine partner has the ability to hold space for her masculine to amplify his purpose in ways he never knew possible, so long as she stays true to herself in the relationship. But she must relinquish control of the union’s direction and let her masculine sail the ship.

And sometimes, she must create waves. When she tolerates his lack of integrity and lack of purpose, she will become drained. If she says nothing, she is communicating to her partner that it’s OK for him to step out of his integrity, which is crucial for maintaining his authenticity and and his ability to self-actualize.

Her role of serving as a mirror is the necessary component for the merging of the two energetic polarities.

Women are the ocean that men sail through on ships.

When she stays true to herself and her own needs, her energy can actually fuel her partner to stay true as well, both to his purpose and to her.

Pure feminine essence has no desire to control the masculine by making decisions for him. If we feel the need to, the relationship is headed for failure. The feminine thrives when the masculine takes the lead in the union.


Purpose must come before relationship

Purpose must come first, as we are all here to self-actualize in unique service to our creator, which IS us. This is how we serve the collective.

We are here playing the game of the dualistic illusion in 3-D, which shows us that everything is separate. The ultimate illusion of separation is shown to us through the masculine-feminine dynamic.

The goal is to integrate. We do this through union with the opposite energetic essence.


Love and light

The masculine is light and the feminine is love. The light is necessary for enlightenment, but love can happen in the dark as well as in the light.

The feminine gives her love to help the masculine create the brightest light possible within, and the love she gives is mirrored back to her.

The feminine counterpart has an innate ability to serve as a reflection of the light and bring it into conscious awareness.

That is what we are seeing happen now on the world stage.

Whether or not she freely admits it, her whole well-being is impacted by her masculine partner’s drive to reach his potential.

When she merges with a masculine counterpart who is not meeting his potential, they will both suffer greatly. This lack throws both partners into their shadows.

The masculine shows up as uncertain and chaotic and the feminine responds with volatility and eventually indifference as she attempts to make up for his lack.

The only thing that becomes certain is a slow and painful emotional death for the union.

In order for the masculine to show up for his feminine goddess, he must first come to terms with what he is here to do and self-actualize his purpose into the essence of his being.

If he does not accept this challenge, he will wander through purgatory, unable to show up in his full presence, for himself or anyone else.

It hurts everyone when the masculine plays small.

Getting in touch with the depths of your inner being is the first step toward self-actualization. Both men and women have within them the capacity to step into their full authenticity and live in service to the world by offering their greatest gifts.

You must figure out what that is and give it freely and openly, or you will continue to play small – while you and those you love suffer.

There is no one alive on the planet that does not have something crucial to give in service to the collective. If you didn’t have a purpose to serve in some unique way, you wouldn’t be here.


Love and light,

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